Young professional woman smiling while having a conversation

Is She Interested? 9 Clues to Help You Figure It Out

by Eharmony Editorial Team - April 1, 2021

You’ve met someone – she’s pretty, fun, and interesting, and you’d like to ask her out. But the big question: Is she interested? You don’t want to be that person, assuming a girl being friendly means she’s attracted to you. Which is why it’s super important to understand a woman before making the first move. To make things easier, we’ve compiled a list of signs a woman is interested in you online, in the real world, and after a first date. Go forth and win her heart!

Is she interested? real life

Luckily, science has done at least some of the hard work for you and come up with a list of common behaviors women show when they’re interested in someone. According to psychologist Monica Moore, there’s a good chance she shows interest if…

1. She smiles at you

If the woman you’re talking to at the bar or the bookstore keeps smiling at you, there’s a good chance she likes you. (Although keep in mind that context is super-important. The barista at the coffee shop or the teller at the bank is smiling because it’s her job, not because she’s secretly got a thing for you. Don’t put her in an awkward position by mistaking professionalism for interest.)

How to keep her interested? Smile back!

2. She shoots short glances your way, then looks away when you return the favor

She’s looking, but doesn’t want to be caught looking. That’s a pretty strong indicator that she is interested in you and would be up for a conversation and maybe even more.

Why don’t you mirror her behavior? It’s a great feeling to know someone has their eye on you. But don’t stare, that’s creepy.

3. She leans slightly into you, licks her lips, or touches her hair

For all human beings have advanced over the past several millennia, when it comes to showing interest, it’s often our bodies doing the talking. Keep an eye on her body language – if she’s smiling, trying to look eyes with you or has an approachable body language, this is one of the signs a woman is interested in you and trying to push you into actually making the first move.

Here’s a tip for you: Lean slightly towards her (but be respectful of her space) and keep your own body language open, so she’ll know the interest is reciprocated.

Is she interested: Online

One of the best parts about dating apps can also be its worst drawback: there’s no face-to-face communication, at least until you’ve progressed to video dates. Still, there are ways to know if you have a chance with her, like…

1. She messages you first

As a general rule, women don’t write the first online dating message. (Considering the percentage of creeps out there, can you blame them?) So, if she contacts you first, and you don’t have a pre-existing friendship, it’s definitely a sign she is interested in you.

Tip: Don’t let her always be the one to start the conversation; text her fun links or cute pictures to let her know you’re thinking of her.

2. She asks about your interests, and actually seems interested

Common interests are a great thing to build a relationship on. And if she’s asking about yours, and especially if she wants to know more even if it’s something niche like woodworking or collecting records? She definitely likes you.

Tip: Return the favor and ask her about the things she loves to do. It’ll show her you’re interested in what makes her tick.

3. She’s flirty

As far as signals go, this is a pretty obvious one. If she’s going so far as to flirt online, it’s pretty clear that she’s into you.

How to keep her interested? Flirt back, assuming you want to take the relationship further.

Is she interested: After the first date

You used our list of fun first date ideas to pick something special for your first encounter, you used the typical first date tips to make sure you did everything you could to make sure it went well… now the ball’s in her court. Some signs she’s definitely interested:

1. She follows up, and not just in a perfunctory way

It’s good manners to text her the day after to check in, especially if you’re interested. How she responds will give you a good idea of whether she likes you or not; does she text back and forth a little bit, maybe bring up something you two talked about during your date? Then there’s a good chance she’s interested. If her responses are short and perfunctory or non-existent… well, time to move on, I’m afraid.

Tip: Keep her interested by reinforcing how much fun you had on your date and suggest meeting again soon.

2. She adds you on social media

It’s too soon for your relationship to be social media official, but her adding you on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat is a great a woman is still interested in a man – after all, she wouldn’t voluntarily sign up to hear about your life or see your selfies if she wasn’t.

Bear in mind: Go ahead! Follow her back and make sure you’re a fun person to follow.

3. She suggests getting together again

Yeah, there’s no reading this one any differently – if she suggests a second date, she definitely wants to see you again, and is willing to take the initiative.

Tip: Say yes, obviously and suggest you two do something she likes for date #2.

Knowing if she’s interested helps you make the next move with confidence

While the friend zone doesn’t exist, it can be difficult for people to be absolutely sure a woman is interested in them rather than just being her awesome self. But with careful observation, you’ll not only learn the signs a woman is interested in you, but get better at keeping her interested, too. And if she isn’t? Take your newfound knowledge of how to read a woman and use it to make your next relationship better – a relationship that eharmony can help you find.

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