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310 Best Questions to Ask a Girl

by eharmony Editorial Team January 6, 2026

While chemistry may be essential to starting off a relationship, what really keeps it going is communication. And a key part of communication is asking good questions. Finding the right questions to ask the girl you’re dating and listening to the answers is a wonderful example of what psychologists call non-sexual intimacy.

Good questions help uncover a person’s feelings, motivations, and personality. Asking each other questions is a great way to deepen your relationship with your partner and understand each other better, no matter what stage of dating you’re in. Asking a girl questions shows her you’re not just interested in her physically. But what kind of questions to ask a girl, you may wonder?

In this article, you’ll find a whole range of different questions to ask a girl, from cheesy questions to serious questions to basic questions about her work, her family, or her hobbies. You’ll also learn how to know if you’re asking good questions, and how to keep the conversation going.

Open-ended questions to get to know a girl

The best questions to ask a girl to know her better are plenty of open-ended ones. If you’re not sure what that is, it’s a question that, rather than requiring just a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, invites the respondent to answer in more detail. The right open-ended questions to ask a girl usually ask ‘how’      or ‘why’, inviting people to share their experiences or their motivations for doing something. It’s a great way to get insight into a person while also building trust with them. Because open-ended questions are about getting detailed answers, they’re an excellent opportunity to show a girl you’re really listening to her (be sure to practice active listening!) Open-ended questions also let respondents give more nuanced takes than simple yes/no answers. This is useful since most things are more complicated than they seem at first glance. Here are ten open-ended questions to ask to get to know someone:

  1. What is your preferred creative outlet?
  2. What book do you wish you could read for the first time again?
  3. What is one thing you are looking forward to?
  4. Do you play any musical instruments?
  5. Do you like spicy food?
  6. Do you have any pets?
  7. What is your astrological sign?
  8. Do you like sharing food?
  9. Did you have a childhood nickname?
  10. Do you speak any languages other than English?

Questions to ask a girl about life

As eharmony’s own successful history of bringing people together can tell you, one of the keys to success in a relationship is compatibility. How do you know you’re compatible with someone? Finding out more about their outlook on life is a great start. If you’re an optimist, for instance, you’re probably going to get along best with other glass-half-full types. A pessimist might not appreciate your sunny perspective on life.

Asking a girl questions about life doesn’t have to lead to deep existential conversations (though if that’s your jam, we have ideas for you, too). It can be as simple as asking her about her routine or what she likes to do. Questions about life aren’t just a way to get to know someone better. They can tell you whether this is a person you’d like to spend the rest of your life with. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about life:

  1. What’s something you wish you had learned earlier in life?
  2. How do you usually handle unexpected changes?
  3. What’s a small daily ritual that means a lot to you?
  4. Do you believe happiness is a choice or a result of circumstances?
  5. What do you think makes life meaningful?
  6. What’s one challenge that shaped who you are today?
  7. Do you see yourself as more optimistic or realistic?
  8. How do you define a ‘good life’?
  9. What do you want to experience in the next five years?
  10. Do you think balance is possible in life, or is it just a

Questions to ask a girl about family

For most people, their families are some of the most important relationships in their lives. And for good reason. Science says that family relationships have deep and enduring effects on a person’s well-being at every stage of their lives.1

Asking someone about their family isn’t just letting them know you want more than a casual fling. It can tell you all kinds of things. Not just about them but about how they see their own lives unfolding. For instance, someone with a big, close-knit family will have very different ideas and expectations of what the holidays look like than someone who only travels to his relatives on certain seasonal holidays. Talking about each other’s families isn’t just a great way to connect. It can offer you an insight into the kind of future a life with this person might bring. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about family.

  1. What’s your favorite memory with your grandparents?
  2. Does your family have a favorite meal or recipe?
  3. Who in your family do you relate to the most?
  4. What’s the funniest family tradition you have?
  5. Do you keep in touch with extended family often?
  6. What kind of family environment do you want in the future?
  7. What was your favorite holiday growing up?
  8. Who in your family tells the best stories?
  9. Do you prefer big family gatherings or smaller ones?
  10. How would you describe your family dynamic?

Questions to ask a girl about work

According to research, a little under one-third of our lives is spent at work.2 On top of that, for many of us, work isn’t just a way to pay the bills but an important part of our identity and frame of reference. Plus, talking about work can be a way to find common ground or learn about something completely new. It’s also a good way to garner insight into your partner’s personality and what life together will be like.

Often, the work people do becomes part of who they are, for better or worse. And asking about it tells a girl you’re interested, it opens the door to conversations about goals and ambitions. If that feels like too much, questions you can ask a girl about work also serve as low-pressure small talk as  you decide whether or not you’d like to get to know each other better.

  1. What do you enjoy most about your current job?
  2. What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced at work so far?
  3. Do you see your career as part of your identity?
  4. Have you ever had a mentor who really influenced you?
  5. Do you prefer working independently or in a team?
  6. What’s a dream job you’ve always imagined for yourself?
  7. How do you usually deal with stressful days at work?
  8. What’s a career accomplishment you’re proud of?
  9. Do you think you’ll stay in your current field long-term?
  10. How important is work-life balance to you?
Strong smiling woman, making eye contact with the camera

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Questions to ask girls about their goals

Talking about goals has almost become a cliché. But that doesn’t mean asking a girl about her goals is a bad thing. About one in five people set goals for themselves3, and working on achieving a goal can bring rewards beyond the goal itself, like a sense of achievement or the discovery of a new hobby or talent. Additionally, when you ask a girl about her goals, you’re also sneakily paying her a compliment. You’re assuming she’s ambitious, determined and willing to work hard to achieve something she wants.

Setting goals is good for you, as they’re known to improve motivation, performance, and success.4 Goals can also be a great way to connect. A shared goal is always fun to work on together or the two of you can cheer each other on as you pursue your separate dreams. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about her goals.

  1. What’s a personal goal you’re working on right now?
  2. Do you set New Year’s resolutions?
  3. What motivates you most when working toward a goal?
  4. Do you usually achieve goals through planning or spontaneity?
  5. What’s one goal you want to achieve this year?
  6. Do you prefer setting short-term or long-term goals?
  7. What inspires you to keep going when things get hard?
  8. Do you share your goals with others or keep them private?
  9. What’s a dream you’ve had since childhood that you still want to pursue?
  10. What would make you feel truly accomplished?

Questions to ask girls about hobbies

Dinner and a movie or Netflix and chill do make for a good date. But sometimes, you want to actually do things with the person you’re dating. This is where hobbies come in. What better way to get to know someone better while also doing something she enjoys? Potential date ideas aside, hobbies are a fun way to get to know someone. Putting together a thoughtful list of questions to ask a girl can also reveal unexpected depths. You never know who might secretly love adventure sports, be a crochet fiend or love your favourite sports team as much as you do.

As a bonus, having a hobby is good for you. A 2023 study by Nature Medicine showed that people with hobbies were both healthier and happier, as well as more satisfied with their lives.5 So go ahead and ask her what she likes to do in her free time. You might even wind up with a new hobby of your own!

  1. What hobby makes you lose track of time?
  2. Do you enjoy creative hobbies, active hobbies, or both?
  3. What hobby would you like to learn in the future?
  4. Do you think hobbies are more fun solo or shared with others?
  5. What’s a hobby you’ve had since childhood?
  6. Have you ever turned a hobby into a side hustle?
  7. What’s a hobby you admire in others but haven’t tried yourself?
  8. Do you like outdoor or indoor activities more?
  9. What’s a hobby you’d want to share with a partner?
  10. What’s the strangest hobby you’ve heard of?

Questions to ask a girl about her passions and interests

Ask someone what they’re passionate about, and watch their face light up. Passions can be anything – a career, a hobby, a charitable cause, or something else entirely. But for people who have one, there’s almost nothing more important. If you’re interested in a girl, find out what she’s passionate about and interested in to know on a deeper level. This will also help you decide if you’re compatible with each other.

Asking about a girl’s passions can also give you insight into the kind of life she plans to live, her goals, and how she goes about organising her day. As a bonus, hearing about other people’s passions and interests is a great way to discover more about what you do and don’t like, whether in a romantic partner or just generally. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about her passions and interests that’ll help you get to know her better:

  1. What’s something you could talk about for hours without getting bored?
  2. How do you usually like to spend a free day when you have no plans at all?
  3. Is there a specific interest you’ve recently gotten into?
  4. What kind of activities make you lose track of time completely?
  5. Was there something you loved doing as a kid that still matters to you now?
  6. What’s a project, goal, or idea you’re quietly really proud of?
  7. Do you prefer creative tasks, active things, or learning new stuff?
  8. What inspires or motivates you when you’re feeling stuck?
  9. Is there an experience that has shaped who you are today?
  10. If money and time weren’t an issue, how would you spend most of your days?

Questions to ask a girl about her family and childhood

Our childhoods and our families – good, bad, somewhere in between – shape the adults we become. From our likes and dislikes to our mannerisms to our reactions to our traumas. Depending on what stage of dating you’re in, there are appropriate questions about family and childhood to ask. You may want to break the ice with something light-hearted or build trust with deeper and more personal questions once you know you want something a little more deeply.

And if you plan on having kids someday, knowing more about how your partner grew up and what they consider a normal childhood can help you figure out if she’s someone you’d like to raise children with. It helps you anticipate any potential issues when it comes to how you’d like to raise your kids. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about childhood and family:

  1. What is your earliest memory?
  2. What were your parents like?
  3. Who were you closest to in the family?
  4. How many siblings did you have?
  5. What is a favorite memory of your childhood?
  6. What was your dynamic in the family?
  7. How does your family celebrate the holidays?
  8. What was school like for you?
  9. What family stories have you heard about earlier generations?
  10. What was your favorite trip as a child?

Questions to ask a girl about her life and values

Sure, chemistry is important. Especially in those whirlwind initial days of dating. But when it comes to love that lasts, science has shown that shared values are a cornerstone of a successful relationship.6 This is why the questions you ask a girl about her life and values are so important. It’ll let you both know if you prioritize the same things. It also lets you see the kind of person she is and if that’s someone you want in your life on a long-term basis.

It’s important to remember that just because someone has different values from you doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person. It just makes them different. There’s an advantage to not always being fully on the same page. Hearing a different point of view is often how we learn and grow. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about her life and values:

  1. What do you think matters most in a person’s character?
  2. What’s something you consider non-negotiable in your life?
  3. What do you think makes a relationship meaningful?
  4. What do you want your life to feel like on a day-to-day basis?
  5. What makes you feel most fulfilled and satisfied?
  6. What would you do if money were no object?
  7. How do you want to be remembered?
  8. When were you at your best? What was your day like?
  9. What kind of support do you value from others
  10. When do you feel most authentically yourself?

Couple laying in a park looking at the sky and cuddling.

Sure, superficial, light-hearted questions have their place. Especially in the beginning stages of dating, when you’re still figuring each other out or when neither of you has the energy to go deep. But if you want to build something solid and long-lasting, you have to get personal. That said, it’s important to remember there’s a time and place to ask personal questions. You’ll get better answers if you’ve put in the work to build trust and connection. It’s also best to choose a situation where you’re both relaxed and in the mood to open up to each other.

Practice active listening throughout. It lets the other person know you’re present in the moment with them and taking what they have to say seriously. Asking and answering personal questions can be hard because of how vulnerable it makes you feel, but it’s important to be bold if you want to deepen your relationship. Here are ten personal questions to ask a girl:

  1. What’s something you’re really proud of that you don’t talk about often?
  2. What kind of moments make you feel most genuinely happy?
  3. Who in your life knows you best, and what do they understand about you that others don’t?
  4. What’s a small habit or ritual that makes your day better?
  5. What’s something you’re trying to do more of lately—and why?
  6. When do you feel most confident?
  7. What’s something you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?
  8. What kind of people make you feel most at ease?
  9. What’s a dream or goal you haven’t told many people about?
  10. What’s something you really appreciate in someone you’re close to?

Serious questions to ask a girl

While being in love can feel like walking on air a lot of the time, there are definitely times in a relationship when being serious is called for, especially if you’re not just dating casually. Serious questions are great for when you’ve gotten to know each other a little and have developed a bit of a rapport, since answering them requires some degree of trust and vulnerability. With serious questions, it’s important to give the other person the opportunity to think through their response, since these questions do require a little bit of consideration to answer well.

Consider building up the person you’re dating with a few slightly more superficial but still thoughtful questions first, so you don’t blindside them. You should also make sure neither of you is rushed or stressed, so the other person has time to think about their response. Ready to get serious? Here are ten deep questions to ask a girl.

  1. Do you think there is one person out there that each of us is meant to be with?
  2. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be and why?
  3. What is one thing that society has lost that you wish we could get back?
  4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?
  5. If you could relive one day of your life, which day would it be and why?
  6. How do you define happiness, and what do you do to cultivate it in your life?
  7. What advice would you give to your younger self?
  8. What’s a truth you’ve learned the hard way?
  9. Do you think people can ever fully understand each other?
  10. Do you believe in fate?
Man and woman look at each other and talk as a symbol for questions to ask

Explore further questions to ask to get to know someone

Getting to know each other is an integral part of the dating process, but it can be very hard to know what kind of questions to ask. Next to the already explained questions, we’ve covered a range of topics, each with plenty of example questions to ask to get to know someone. 

Bold questions to ask a girl

While you should always respectful, it’s good to ask bold questions of potential partners. Stepping outside of your comfort zone with a bold question or two can take your relationship to a deeper level and open avenues you hadn’t considered before.

That said, it’s important to be respectful even when you’re asking stronger questions. Make sure she’s okay with it. Back off immediately and change the topic to something more sedate if she’s not. If she is on the same page as you, though, asking bold questions is a great way to explore themes and topics that you might not have otherwise considered. Here are ten flirty questions to ask a girl for when you want to add a little excitement to your relationship.

  1. What’s the most impulsive thing you’ve ever done?
  2. Have you ever had a crush on someone you shouldn’t have?
  3. What’s the boldest message you’ve ever sent?
  4. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  5. What’s the most daring thing you’d do on a date?
  6. Have you ever confessed feelings to someone unexpectedly?
  7. Would you consider yourself a risk-taker in love?
  8. What’s a secret you’ve never told anyone?
  9. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
  10. Would you rather make the first move or wait for someone else?

Romantic questions to ask a girl

Asking questions is a great way to get to know just about anyone better, whether they’re friends, family, colleagues, or acquaintances. When you’re dating someone, though, or in that pre-dating stage, you want to make sure your intentions are clear. Asking questions that are obviously romantic in nature is a great way to let her know you’re interested. It’s also never too early to quietly start storing away future date ideas and gift ideas.

Romantic questions aren’t necessarily flirty or risqué. They’re focused on the love between you and your partner. Asking your girl romantic questions also lets you know what level of cheesiness she’s comfortable with. Some people like to keep it low-key, others want to go all out. The key is figuring out what works for you and your partner, and clear communication about your needs and expectations in a romantic relationship. To help with that, here are ten romantic questions to ask a girl:

  1. What’s your idea of the perfect date night?
  2. Do you like handwritten love notes or modern gestures more?
  3. What makes you feel truly appreciated in a relationship?
  4. Do you enjoy romantic surprises?
  5. What’s the most romantic movie you’ve ever seen?
  6. How do you show love to someone special?
  7. What’s a simple gesture that always melts your heart?
  8. Do you believe romance should be grand or simple?
  9. What’s the sweetest compliment you’ve ever received?
  10. What song feels the most romantic to you?

How to ask a girl out

Figuring out how to ask a girl out that you like? You might be overthinking it. We share simple yet effective tips on how to ask a girl out on a date.

Questions to ask a girl about love and relationships

It can’t be denied that love is one of the most important parts of our lives. This is why asking the girl you’re dating about love and relationships is important. Everyone’s idea of what a perfect relationship looks like is different.

Knowing what your partner wants out of a romantic relationship can make dating much easier. When expectations are clear, you’re less likely to fight because of a miscommunication. And if there are gaps between what you want and what she wants, the earlier you can decide whether to break up or keep trying. Here are ten questions to ask a girl about love and relationships:

  1. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
  2. How do you usually show affection?
  3. What makes you feel most cared for?
  4. What do you think is the hardest part of maintaining a relationship?
  5. What’s something you’ve learned from past relationships?
  6. What makes you feel connected to someone?
  7. What’s a relationship green flag for you?
  8. What kind of partnership do you imagine for yourself in the future?
  9. How do you handle conflict with someone you love?
  10. What quality do you value most in a partner?

Relationship questions to ask your girlfriend

The questions don’t stop once you’re in a relationship, or at least they shouldn’t. Studies have shown that good communication is one of the hallmarks of long-term success in relationships, which means that you should keep those questions coming.7 As you spend more time together and build trust, the kind of questions you can ask your girlfriend changes. That trust you’ve spent time building means you can ask your girlfriend more personal questions than you might someone you’re simply dating. This can lead to some very fun answers.

It might be tempting to just go with the flow and bask in the present. But if you’re in it for the long term, it’s important not to shy away from more serious questions, especially about your future together. Being on the same page about your shared life is key if you plan on spending these years together. Here are ten relationship questions to ask your girlfriend:

  1. What’s something I do that makes you feel really loved?
  2. What’s one thing you wish we did more often together?
  3. How can I be a better partner to you right now?
  4. What moments in our relationship stand out to you the most?
  5. What’s something you feel comfortable telling me now that you didn’t before?
  6. What helps you feel close to me after a stressful day?
  7. What do you think we’re really good at as a couple?
  8. What’s a dream you have for us in the future?
  9. What’s something small I could do that would make your life easier or sweeter?
  10. What’s a new experience you’d love for us to try together?
A couple sitting on a bench in the garden laughing together.

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Questions to ask a woman you like

While the initial stages of meeting a new person can be a lot of fun, it can also be a little nerve-wracking. Being vulnerable always is. You want to get her attention, but you don’t want to come across as too much or like you’re someone you’re not. Having a prepared list of questions to ask a girl you like can help conversations flow more smoothly.

Of course, you have to be careful with how you drop them. You want her to feel charmed, not like she’s in a job interview or being grilled for information. A good way to make it feel casual yet romantic is to match her energy, listen to what she’s saying, ask follow-up questions that show you’re paying attention, and share things about you, too. Wondering what kind of questions to ask a woman you like? Here are ten to get you started:

  1. What kind of people do you feel most comfortable around?
  2. What’s something small that made you smile recently?
  3. What’s your favourite kind of conversation?
  4. Is there anything you’re excited about lately?
  5. What’s a place you’d love to show someone else?
  6. What’s something you wish people asked you more often?
  7. What’s your go-to way to unwind after a long day?
  8. What kind of connection feels meaningful to you?
  9. What’s a moment you felt really seen or understood?
  10. What’s something you’re trying to get better at right now?

Questions to ask a woman over text

When text messaging, your tone can be hard to read and you never know when autocorrect will twist your message into something you didn’t mean. However, according to an eharmony survey two-thirds of adults prefer communicating by text over anything else.8 That’s because it’s easy to text messages, since it lets you think through what you really want to say.

If you’re stuck on how to text a girl, simply think of it as an easy way to get to know each other without the pressure of a face-to-face conversation or the hassle of figuring out when a good time to call will be. Make your phone your matchmaker with these ten questions to ask a woman over text:

  1. What’s something that made you smile today?
  2. What’s a weirdly specific thing you’re obsessed with right now?
  3. What kind of conversations do you enjoy the most?
  4. What’s your perfect way to spend a slow evening?
  5. What’s something you’ve been wanting to try lately?
  6. What’s a song you never skip when it comes on?
  7. What are you currently looking forward to?
  8. What’s a tiny moment that always improves your mood?
  9. What’s the last thing you watched or read that stuck with you?
  10. What’s something people misunderstand about you?

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How to text a girl in general

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Questions to ask a girl to make her laugh

According to multiple studies done over the years, women find men who can make them laugh attractive.9 Research also shows that couples with a shared sense of humour last longer and have more relationship satisfaction than couples who don’t.10 And while some of us are naturally funny, that doesn’t mean the rest can’t learn. One important caveat. Make sure your humour isn’t punching down or nasty, since that’s not a good impression to leave on someone you’d like to spend more time with. Another thing to keep in mind is to match the humour to her comfort level. You don’t want to put her off by accidentally pushing too far. And while making her laugh is the goal, be sure to listen – and laugh – at her jokes, too. Here are ten funny questions to ask a girl to make her laugh.

  1. If animals could talk, which one would be the biggest drama queen?
  2. What’s the most useless superpower you would still totally want?
  3. If your life had a narrator, whose voice would you pick and why is it chaotic?
  4. What’s your go-to dad joke?
  5. If you could delete one everyday inconvenience from reality, what would you banish first?
  6. What’s the worst movie you secretly love like it’s high art?
  7. If you had to give a TED Talk right now with zero prep, what topic would you choose?
  8. What’s the most harmless hill you would absolutely die on?
  9. If past you from five years ago saw you today, what’s the first thing they’d roast you for?
  10. What animal do you think you could confidently outrun, and are you sure?

Silly questions to ask a girl

Sure, seriousness has its place. But it’s no fun being serious all the time. When looking for that special someone,  love and passion are important, but so is fun. Simply spending time with them should be something you look forward to. Silly questions are a great way to build trust with each other, since being silly or even ridiculous with people you’re interested in does require at least a little vulnerability.

Mixing light-hearted, silly questions with ones that are deeper and more serious is a great way to lower the tension when it feels like a conversation isn’t right for the level of the relationship yet. You can also pair it with a few flirty questions to ask to make sure she doesn’t see you as just her silly, funny friend. Here are ten funny questions to ask a girl you like.

  1. If you could replace your hands with anything other than hands, what would you pick?
  2. What’s the most chaotic food combination you secretly enjoy?
  3. If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
  4. What’s the stupidest hill you’d die on?
  5. If your personality had a mascot, what would it be?
  6. What’s the weirdest compliment someone could give you that you’d still enjoy?
  7. If you were a ghost, how would you annoy people?
  8. What fictional character do you think you could beat in a fistfight?
  9. What’s a completely useless talent you have or wish you had?
  10. If you had to live inside one movie universe but only as a background extra, which one would you choose?

Couplein their kitchen hugging while smiling at each other

Sometimes, you just need to disconnect from the world around you and ask your partner something completely off-the-wall. Random questions can also be surprisingly insightful. They tend to make people consider things they may not have ever thought about before, giving you a glimpse of what they actually think.

Random questions are fun, no matter what stage your relationship is in. Early on, they’re a low-pressure way to get to know each other better. As your relationship progresses, they become a simple way to inject some fun and whimsy into your interactions. You can also consider pairing them with deeper questions as a way to take a break when the conversation gets too heavy. Here are ten random questions to ask your girl:

  1. What’s the first thing you usually notice about people?
  2. What’s your go-to comfort food?
  3. If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?
  4. What’s a hobby you’d love to pick up someday?
  5. What’s the best thing you’ve watched recently?
  6. What’s something you’re oddly good at?
  7. What’s a song that always boosts your mood?
  8. What’s a small luxury you wish you had every day?
  9. What’s your favourite kind of weather?
  10. What’s something you wish more people asked you about?

Juicy questions to ask your girlfriend

Physical chemistry and compatibility are an important part of a relationship. Especially if you’re looking at sharing the rest of your life with someone. It’s important to like spending time with them in bed as well as out of it. But physical intimacy is just one of many ways you can connect with your partner and deepen your connection with each other.

Coming up with a good mix of questions to ask the woman you’re seeing can also be important. There’s a reason that relationship experts emphasize the importance of communication. Just about every aspect of your lives together will be better if you know what each other’s needs and expectations are.

Worried that these questions might give off the wrong impression? To keep the pressure from building up too much, mix in some romantic questions to make your intentions clear. You could also try dropping in a few silly and weird questions in the middle of these ten juicy questions to ask a girlfriend:

  1. What’s the first thing you noticed about me?
  2. What’s the most attractive trait in me that you like the most?
  3. What’s your favorite memory of us so far?
  4. Do you like when I compliment you often?
  5. What’s something you secretly want us to try together?
  6. What kind of flirtation do you like best?
  7. Do you enjoy playful teasing in a relationship?
  8. What’s the most fun date we’ve had?
  9. What do you think makes our chemistry unique?
  10. What’s one thing you’d like us to do more of?
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Intriguing questions to ask a girl

When you’re in the initial stages of dating, you want to stand out from the crowd, make yourself special so she’ll think you’re worth getting to know better. Thinking up some interesting questions to ask a girl that aren’t your run-of-the-mill getting-to-know-you queries is a great way to pique her interest. Not only will they be something she likely hasn’t heard before, they’ll show her that you’re a thoughtful, curious person. Someone who puts effort into really getting to know people rather than just firing off superficial questions.

With that in mind, easy-to-answer questions do have their place. Make sure to mix in a few to give her a break between the more thought-provoking ones. Depending on the vibe, you could try ones that are silly, flirty, or even a little weird. Remember to make sure to practice active listening. You never know what kind of insight you might get into her personality. Here are ten intriguing questions to ask a girl to get you started:

  1. What’s the most thought-provoking book you’ve read?
  2. Do you think people meet for a reason or by chance?
  3. What’s something you’ve always wondered about human behavior?
  4. Do you believe in destiny or free will?
  5. What’s the most fascinating place you’ve visited?
  6. If you could know the truth about one mystery, what would it be?
  7. What’s something that inspires your curiosity?
  8. Do you think dreams have hidden meanings?
  9. What’s a question you wish people would ask you more often?
  10. What’s your take on the idea of soulmates?

Crazy questions to ask a girl

We should all strive to live sensible, well-balanced lives most of the time. But there’s nothing wrong with being a little crazywild once in a while, if that’s what you want. Pushing yourself to step outside your comfort zone isn’t just about having experiences you might not otherwise have had. It’s also part of how we grow as people. You never know what you might find out about yourself!

Doing something crazy is more fun when you have company, which is why these zany and somewhat odd questions to ask a girl are perfect for finding out if she has the same appetite for adventure that you do. Asking each other crazy questions is also a fun way to sneakily research the kind of dates she might like to go on later, and the kind of shared life she envisions for the pair of you. Here are ten crazy questions to ask a girl:

  1. Would you ever go skydiving or bungee jumping?
  2. What’s the wildest party you’ve ever been to?
  3. Would you ever try a survival trip in the wilderness?
  4. What’s the craziest dare you’ve accepted?
  5. Have you ever gone on a spontaneous trip?
  6. What’s the most adrenaline-filled activity you’ve done?
  7. Would you ever live in another country for fun?
  8. What’s the weirdest food combo you actually like?
  9. Would you ever go scuba diving or shark cage diving?
  10. What’s the most outrageous outfit you’ve ever worn?

NGL questions to ask a girl

Everyone loves a confession, and if it’s a little (or a lot) naughty, then all the better. That’s what’s so great about NGL, or not gonna lie, questions. They have that air of confession, of sharing a secret that could potentially come back to bite you. What better way to demonstrate trust and vulnerability than promising to be truthful? NGL questions to ask a girl are great for when you’ve been dating her for a little bit and are ready to share some secrets of your own. Trust shouldn’t be a one-way street, after all.

That said, whether it’s NGL questions you’d like to ask or any other kind of serious or personal questions you ask a girl, make sure you’re reading the room. Try and ask when you know each other well enough that her guard is a little bit down. Make sure to build up to it with smaller confessions first so she knows she can share.

  1. What’s something you’ve never told your parents?
  2. Have you ever lied to get out of trouble?
  3. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you on a date?
  4. Have you ever liked someone you shouldn’t have?
  5. What’s a guilty pleasure you keep secret?
  6. What’s the biggest fib you’ve told as a kid?
  7. Have you ever broken a promise?
  8. What’s the most awkward crush you’ve had?
  9. What’s a secret you’ve kept from your friends?
  10. Have you ever faked liking something to fit in?
A couple in a tent in nature, talking and eating.

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Weird questions to ask a girl

Sometimes, getting to know someone better can feel very intimidating. That’s when a weird question or two can break the ice and put you both more at ease. We’ve been conditioned to think of ‘weird’ as negative, but really, we’re all a little weird in our own ways. And that’s what makes us special. Coming up with weird questions to ask a woman is fun, too. They force you to think, but not about anything particularly serious or earth-shattering, which makes them great for early in the relationship process.

The key to a long-lasting relationship is to find someone whose weirdness works well with yours. Weird questions can also be surprisingly good at helping you get to know someone better – first by letting you know if this is a person who you can be a little strange with, and secondly by letting you share the side of you that is a little weird yourself. Try a few of these odd and offbeat questions to ask a girl next time you meet up.

  1. If animals could talk, which one would be the funniest?
  2. Would you rather live without music or without movies?
  3. If you had to wear one color forever, what would it be?
  4. What’s the strangest superstition you’ve heard of?
  5. Would you rather always have hiccups or always sneeze?
  6. If you could create a silly law everyone had to follow, what would it be?
  7. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten for breakfast?
  8. Would you rather talk in rhymes or sing everything you say?
  9. If aliens were real, what do you think they’d look like?
  10. What’s a funny childhood misunderstanding you had?

Stupid questions to ask a girl

Someone once said there were no such things as stupid questions. We can’t help but agree with them, at least when it comes to dating. (Well, perhaps there are, but none of the questions on this list fall into that list, we promise.) These kinds of questions you’d ask a girl don’t assume that either the person asking or the person responding is somehow mentally deficient. Rather, they’re stupid in that they’re fun and light-hearted and even a little silly.

Don’t underestimate the power of stupid questions, though. They do have a sneaky bit of depth to them, because even a question that seems stupid on the surface might lead to an interesting conversation. Sometimes it’s nice to have a low-stakes discussion about a topic, especially if you’re at a stage in your relationship where serious discussions are expected to happen. Here are ten stupid questions to ask a girl for some inspiration:

  1. If you could be invisible for 24 hours, what would you do?
  2. Would you rather have fingers as long as legs or legs as short as fingers?
  3. What’s the dumbest way you’ve ever hurt yourself?
  4. If you had to replace your hands with something else, what would you pick?
  5. Would you rather fight one giant ant or a thousand tiny ants?
  6. If you had to rename yourself, what silly name would you choose?
  7. Would you rather always wear clown shoes or a clown nose?
  8. If you had to live inside a video game, which one would you pick?
  9. Would you rather never use the internet again or never watch TV again?
  10. What’s the most pointless skill you’ve mastered?

Cheesy questions to ask a girl

What some people consider corny, others find delightfully romantic. The thing with finding corny and slightly over-the-top questions to ask a girl is that it’s definitely about knowing your audience. Some women love a bit of cheese; others can’t stomach it. Cheesy questions let you know where on the spectrum your date falls before you plan a date that could potentially end in disaster.

On the other hand, if she’s the kind of person who loves grand gestures and Hollywood-style romance, asking cheesy questions is a fun way to figure out ways to surprise and delight her. Be careful not to go overboard, though. You don’t want her to think you’re putting on some kind of act to win her, or worse, making fun of her. Instead, mix in some flirty questions and even a few serious ones with these ten cheesy questions to ask a girl:

  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • What’s your idea of a fairytale romance?
  • Do you like it when someone serenades you?
  • What’s the cheesiest pickup line that actually worked on you?
  • Would you rather have a candlelit dinner or a picnic under the stars?
  • What’s a cheesy romantic movie you secretly love?
  • Do you like cliché romantic gestures, or do you find them silly?
  • Would you rather receive flowers or chocolate?
  • What’s your dream romantic getaway?
  • What’s the sweetest thing someone’s ever said to you?

A woman looking at her phone.

More and more people are shifting to online dating when it comes to finding someone to settle down with, not just a casual fling. This does require a slightly different approach to the questions           you ask a girl, compared to traditional dating. But figuring out tone can be a little more difficult over text. On the other hand, the backspace has likely saved us all from at least one faux pas.

Luckily, if you meet someone on a dating app, you don’t have to worry about whether they’re interested in you. They wouldn’t be talking to you if they weren’t. Do your best to keep the conversation going both ways with open-ended questions that encourage detailed answers and questions that let them talk about themselves. No matter the question, make sure they know you’re paying attention, even if it’s just with a reaction gif. Here are ten questions to ask on a dating app:

  1. What’s the best first message you’ve ever received?
  2. Do you prefer chatting on the app or moving to texts quickly?
  3. What’s your go-to GIF or emoji when flirting?
  4. What kind of first dates do you usually enjoy?
  5. Do you prefer coffee dates or dinner dates?
  6. What’s something unique about you not on your profile?
  7. What’s your favorite icebreaker question?
  8. Do you usually make the first move online?
  9. What’s the most fun conversation you’ve had on an app?
  10. What’s a dating app cliché you’re tired of seeing?

Ice breaker questions to ask a girl on a date

When you don’t know someone very well, finding something to talk about can sometimes be awkward. You don’t want to accidentally upset them and you probably don’t want to dive into serious questions right away. That’s why ice breaker questions for dating are so useful, especially in the initial stages when you’re still feeling each other out. 

You might think ‘ice breaker’ and wince at memories of awkward work bonding events, but ice breaker questions definitely have their place in your dating arsenal. They can help spark conversation or keep it going, make sure the mood stays light, and let you connect with your date without getting more personal than you feel comfortable with. That said, don’t fall into clichés about the weather or work. Instead, show off your creativity a little with these ten ice breakers and conversation starter questions to ask a girl:

  1. What’s your favorite comfort food?
  2. Do you like small talk, or do you prefer diving deep quickly?
  3. What’s your favorite way to relax after a long week?
  4. Do you prefer going out or staying in on weekends?
  5. What’s a fun fact about you that most people don’t know?
  6. Do you like playing games on dates?
  7. What’s your favorite way to spend Sunday mornings?
  8. Do you enjoy surprises, or do you like to plan ahead?
  9. What’s your favorite kind of dessert?
  10. What’s one thing that instantly makes you smile?

First date questions to ask a girl

The first date is one of the most exciting parts of the dating process. But it can’t be denied that it’s just a little bit nerve-wracking. You want to impress her, but you don’t want to come across like you’re trying too hard. You want to get to know her better, but you don’t want to make it feel like a cross-examination. Most of all, you want to know whether that initial chemistry will lead to enough of a connection to make a second date something you both want.

When it comes to questions to ask on a first date, it’s a careful tightrope to walk. You don’t want her to think you’re superficial, but at the same time, you don’t want to get too personal when you’re only on the first date. Here are ten first date questions to ask a girl to strike that perfect balance:

  1. What’s your favorite type of restaurant?
  2. Do you enjoy casual or more fancy date spots?
  3. What’s your go-to drink order?
  4. Do you prefer outdoor activities or indoor ones for dates?
  5. What’s the most memorable date you’ve been on?
  6. Do you like trying new activities on first dates?
  7. What’s your favorite local place to visit?
  8. Do you enjoy live events like concerts or theater?
  9. What makes you feel comfortable on a first date?
  10. Do you prefer long conversations or short and sweet meetups?

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Questions to ask a girl on a second date

So, the first date went well enough that you’re on a second date. This is when striking a balance becomes even more important. You want to start deepening the connection, while still keeping it light enough for the early stages of a relationship. The second date is also where you can start coming up with questions to ask the girl that look for insights into what she would like the shape of the relationship to look like.

This is a good time to check in about deal-breakers and if there’s a fundamental incompatibility between the two of you, like kids or politics. It’s better you both know sooner rather than later. For the most part, though, it’s best to keep second date questions light, with perhaps a sprinkling of more serious ones if that’s where the conversation leads. Here are ten questions to ask on a second date to keep the conversation going:

  1. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try in this city?
  2. Do you enjoy cooking or baking together on dates?
  3. What’s your favorite memory from your last vacation?
  4. Do you believe in astrology or personality types?
  5. What’s a hobby you’d love to share with someone?
  6. Do you prefer adventurous dates or chill, cozy ones?
  7. What’s the best meal you’ve had recently?
  8. Do you like planning second dates or leaving them spontaneous?
  9. What’s something small that makes you happy instantly?
  10. What kind of movie would you pick for a date night?

How do you know if you’re asking good questions?

Just like anything else, coming up with good questions to ask a girl is a skill. One you can get better at. A key part of knowing if you’re asking good questions? Don’t just ask, listen and observe. Her reactions – both verbal and otherwise – will tell you if you’re asking her good questions.

Here are three ways she’ll let you know you’re doing something right:

  • Her body language – Is she leaning in, initiating physical contact, and smiling at you while you’re asking your question? That means the question you’ve asked is likely a good one.
  • How she answers – If she takes the time to think about deep questions before giving you a thoughtful answer, or laughs at a silly question before being silly in return, then you can be sure you’re asking her the right kind of questions.
  • What she does next – Does she turn the question back on you once she’s done, or ask something related? Wanting to hear what you think is a sign your questions are headed in the right direction.

Three tips for asking good questions:

  • Match the question to the vibe – Don’t get too personal or too deep too quickly. Instead, start off small and light and save the tougher questions for when you’ve built trust.
  • Make your question specific and open-ended – Give her room for more than a yes or no, while avoiding being vague or she’ll have trouble figuring out what you’re talking about.
  • Listen – You firing off questions is an interrogation, not a conversation. Practice active listening and give her the space for questions of her own.

What is the key to keeping the conversation going?

Some people are just talented at keeping conversations going. Luckily, even if that isn’t something that comes easily to you, there are still ways you can make talking with someone feel natural and instinctive. A key part of good conversation? Active listening. According to Psychology Today, “active listening is a way of listening that involves full attention to what is being said for the primary purpose of understanding the speaker.”11 In addition to making sure you practice actively listening with your partner, use the following tips to keep the conversation going:

  • Ask follow-up questions – Finding the right questions to ask a woman is about more than creating conversation. It’s also about stoking it. Follow up, asking for more details. This lets her know you’ve been paying attention and want to keep the conversation going.
  • Find common topics – One of the best ways to connect with a partner is over a shared interest or value, so try and use these questions to find some.
  • Don’t discount the value of small talk – Sure, it’s important to get to know each other better but pushing too hard can be counterproductive. When you get the sense that things are getting too heavy, dial it down by shifting to the weather or weekend plans.

Which questions help you truly understand her personality?

While it would be wonderful if there were a singular set of questions to ask a girl that allowed you to truly understand a girl’s personality, the truth is that everyone is different. Some girls enjoy deep philosophical debates, while others would much rather the questions be grounded in reality.

Other girls would enjoy the silliness of ‘would you rather’ questions, while some would prefer to talk about future plans and expectations. At the end of the day, the best way to truly know your partner’s personality remains the same. Regardless of the question, it’s about listening carefully to the answer.


Q&A – Expert backed answers to your questions

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What are the best questions to ask a girl without it feeling like an interview?

Whenever I meet someone new—whether on a date or just getting to know a woman I’m interested in—I struggle with keeping the conversation flowing. I don’t want it to feel like I’m reading from a script, but at the same time, I want to ask meaningful questions that actually help me connect with her.

What are some good questions to ask a girl that go beyond the usual small talk? I want to strike the right balance between fun, flirty, and deep without coming off as too intense or rehearsed.
Any tips on how to make these conversations feel more natural?

Laurel House
eharmony Relationship Expert

I love that you want to ask meaningful questions and dig deeper than small talk. Real conversation is truly the way to open anyone’s heart. Conversation is how you make connection. It’s a good idea to have questions in mind when going into the conversation. Because the way to initiate an environment to have these deep and flowing conversations is to be the example of your expectation. By using the U-Strategy and the Conversation Equation, you can take the conversation to deeper levels without getting lost in the depths.

The U-Strategy is modeling the conversation after the letter U.

  1. You start at the top of the U with something light, for example: “I love to play basketball on the weekends, it’s great exercise and I get to see my friends.”
  2. THEN you start going down the U: “I started playing basketball when I was a kid and we didn’t have much money, but there was a basketball hoop at the end of my street. To keep ourselves busy, my friends and I would play ball. My dad and I really bonded over basketball too. That’s how he and I would have harder conversations- keeping our mouths moving while keeping our hands busy dribbling the ball.”
  3. THEN you go back up the U: “I find it easier to really connect with people while moving my body. Which is why I like hiking too. What about you? What do you like to do on the weekend?”

That way the conversation doesn’t sound forced, you are able to start talking about something that seems light- like what you like to do on the weekend, you gradually get into a deeper topic, and simultaneously you create several conversation strings that can be pulled to continue the conversation. You are also engaging the other person by asking them to share a similar style story. While doing all of that, the U-Strategy opened your heart by talking about something that taps into vulnerability. Now when she shares back, she will be tapping into her vulnerability too.

The Conversation Equation is similar, but this comes into play when the other person is sharing first. To help you to actively listen, show them that you are interested in what they say, and also contribute to the conversation, Listen, Comment, Share, Ask.
Listen to what they say. Comment on what they said. Share something similar about yourself. Then, so that they don’t feel like you are redirecting the conversation onto yourself, put it back onto them by Asking a Question about what they shared that also relates to what you shared.

A few questions to ask on a first date and on a date in general, to have in your pocket are:

  • What do you like to do on the weekend?
  • Are you more of an introvert or extrovert, and how does it show up in your life?
  • When it comes to travel, do you prefer to vacation where you relax, or take a trip where you explore?
  • What are you looking for in dating that might be different from what you were looking for in the past?
  • What is it that excites you, or initially excited you about your career, and what inspired you get into it?
  • What do you feel is missing in your life, and what caused that?

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