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How to get a boyfriend: Tips and tricks to escape being single

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by eharmony Editorial Team - November 22, 2023

It can feel like everyone knows how to get a boyfriend except you, especially when you see all the happy couples billing and cooing while you’re all alone, despite your best efforts. Don’t despair, with eight billion people on the planet, there’s always someone somewhere for you. Let’s talk about why finding a boyfriend can be difficult, where to look for a boyfriend offline, and how to find a boyfriend online.

Why finding a boyfriend can be difficult

It’s not your imagination – dating really is harder now1 If the question is how to get a boyfriend, here’s some reasons why it may not be happening for you:

  • You’re just too busy: between work, family, and friends, you just don’t have time to give your search the effort it deserves
  • You’re looking in the wrong places: Bars and clubs are fun but they’re probably not where guys who want something long-term are looking
  • You’re too picky: Everyone’s got an idea of Mr Right but sometimes you get so focused on checking off a list you pass by Mr Perfect For You
  • You’re not willing to try online dating: You think it takes too much time to set up a profile and chat, or you’ve been disappointed by the kind of men you find there
  • You’re not giving your dates enough time: You expect connection on the first date and that doesn’t always happen

But there are ways you can learn how to get a boyfriend:

  • Before you start, figure out what exactly you’re looking for. Something casual? A more long-term commitment? Someone to settle down and have kids with? When you know what your own wants in a relationship are, it becomes easier to find someone who matches them.
  • If you’re bored with the guys you’re meeting it might be time to step outside your comfort zone. You never know, you might find the perfect partner somewhere unexpected. Even if you don’t, science shows that new experiences are good for us2
  • Finally, remember it’s a numbers game. The more dates you go on, the higher the chances of one clicking eventually. You miss all the shots you don’t take.

20 Tips for finding a boyfriend

This isn’t a fairytale and there’s no point waiting for your prince. So go out and find him instead. Here are 20 tips for how to get a boyfriend:

1. Go to free events

Everywhere, no matter how small, will have events that are open to the public – art gallery openings, author signings, concerts, standup comedy shows, you name it. Pick one you like and head over – you never know who you might meet.

2. Strike up a conversation while you wait in line

It’s true that most people will be on their phones – but if not you should definitely say hi, since step one of getting a boyfriend is actually talking to another human being. Even if you strike out, you might wind up making an unexpected friend.

3. Go to sporting events, whether at bars or venues

Even if you know nothing about sports, you should head to the game – you might find a cute guy who’s happy to explain the rules to you. Or if you are a fan, it’s always fun to watch with other people.

4. Give a stranger a compliment

People love hearing nice things about themselves. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it should be sincere – even as simple as, “I like your shoes” or “That’s a great t-shirt,” can break the ice and spark a connection.

5. Volunteer

No matter what your interests or skill level, there’s a volunteering opportunity out there for you. Plus, you get to make the world a better place while potentially meeting people with the same altruistic streak as you – a win-win!

6. Take a class

Just because you graduated years ago doesn’t mean you should stop learning. Whether it’s at a community college, a local arts center, or even online, taking a class is a great way to expand your horizons – and you may just find yourself a study buddy for life.

7. Visit an art gallery

Many galleries have tours of their collections, which is a great way to get some culture while you meet new people. You can also just wander around – doesn’t striking up a conversation over a piece of art sound like the perfect meet-cue?

8. Leave your phone at home

Leaving your phone at home (or at least, off and in your pocket) means you’ll be free of the temptation to keep scrolling rather than pay attention to the world around you – and who knows what (or who) you might find then?

9. Ask to be set up

Before eharmony, there was friends and family. They know you and want the best for you, so if you’re serious about wanting to get a boyfriend, it’s not a bad idea to ask your loved ones to be on the lookout for cute single men.

10. Spend time outdoors

Even if you’re not a dyed-in-the-wool nature lover, being outside has concrete health benefits. Not up for a full-on hike? Take a walk in your local park, or take a class on foraging or birdwatching.  

11. Ask someone for a recommendation at the bookstore

Yes, brick-and-mortar bookstores do still exist – and they’re a fun way to find a boyfriend. Most readers love to talk about books, so you can’t go wrong asking that cutie browsing the aisles what they think you should read next.

12. Go to an event outside your comfort zone

Perhaps the reason you can’t get a boyfriend is that you’ve exhausted all your current options. Going somewhere new (a poetry reading, a trivia night) is a great way to meet someone new.

13. Send him something other than a drink at the bar

You could send him a drink… but that’s so cliché. Mix it up and send him a fun snack like French fries or an appetizer instead – you’ll stand out, in a good way. And who knows, he might even share! 

14. Go to trivia night at your local pub or board game café

Even if you’re not a big fan of trivia yourself, find a team or just go be in the audience. You’ll learn some interesting new facts and maybe wind up saying yes to a date. 

15. Reconnect with your school or college friends

Luckily, in the age of social media, tracking down your old crushes has never been easier. You never know who else might be single and interested!

16. Switch up your fitness routine

Do you usually just hit the treadmill for an hour and call it good? Sign up for a group-oriented activity like a yoga class or cross-fit instead. Even if it doesn’t mean you get a boyfriend, it’s always good to change your exercise routine every so often.

17. Host a dinner party

When it comes to how to get a boyfriend, the key here is carefully selecting your guests. Ask them to bring someone they think might be a good match for you, and get to know them over good food.

18. Ask for his opinion at the grocery store

A variant of the bookstore option and easier. Ask him for help reaching something, or which fun new snack he thinks you should try. Who knows, the two of you might just hit it off in the produce aisle.

19. Play tourist in your own city

While cruises or package tours are great for meeting new people, cost means they aren’t options for most of us. On the other hand, many cities offer guided tours for not much more than the cost of drinks and a movie. Pick a theme – food, history, even ghosts – and sign up. True, the odds are he might just be visiting – but that’s what long-distance relationships are for.

20. Start dating online

Did you know that three in 10 Americans have used a dating site or app at some point3 When it comes to how to get a boyfriend, online is a great option, especially if you live in a smaller city, have niche interests, or are too busy for the other suggestions on this list.

3 Tips for finding a boyfriend online

While online dating has a lot of similarities to its traditional counterpart, there are still several things to keep in mind if you’re interested in how to get a boyfriend.

1. Figure out what you want

With so many options, it’s important to be clear what you’re looking for, whether that’s just a fling or someone to settle down with. Take some time to think about your needs and desires – do you want casual or serious? Someone nearby or is long-distance okay?

2. Choose the right dating site

Just like nobody goes to a steakhouse for their vegetarian entrees, it’s really important to select your dating app based on the kind of relationship you’re looking for. If serious and long-term is what you’re after, eharmony is a great option – our members are all looking for real love with people who share their values and goals.

3. Make sure your profile is complete

First impressions are important, and apart from photos, your profile is the first thing anyone will look at. So take the time to make it special. Too much information (more on that below) isn’t good but too little can look like a red flag. At eharmony, we make filling your profile easy, with prompts and questions to help when you get stuck.

How to get a boyfriend is easier than you think

If you’re wondering how to get a boyfriend, just put yourself out there, both in person and online. You’ll find a large pool of authentic singles on eharmony who are all looking for the same thing as you: a relationship with someone who matches your personality. So, sign up for eharmony today and take the first step towards finding a boyfriend.

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