Does she love me? 8 signs she sees you as more than a friend

Perhaps you’ve only been dating her for a couple of days, perhaps you’ve been seeing each other for months, but either way, you know what your feelings are. Hearts in your eyes, butterflies in your stomach, the whole nine yards. But you’re wondering… ‘does she love me?’ While you’re sure she likes you – she’s been dating you, after all – you’re not sure how to know if she loves you. Don’t worry, eharmony is here to help. In this article, we’ll look at 8 signs a girl loves you.

How women show real love

According to a study, women need about six months to figure out if they’ve found real love¹.While real love can be hard to define, Laura Hendricks’ description of it as ‘friendship caught fire’ is a good start. It is both an emotional and a physical connection, a state of being as well as a set of actions. It’s a unique, passion-filled bond where the other person’s happiness and well-being become more important to you than your own.

It should come as no surprise that different people express their love differently. Dr Gary Chapman, a noted expert on romantic relationships, explains that people generally tend to have two or three ‘love languages’, ways in which they like to show, or receive, affection. According to Dr Chapman, there are a total of five love languages:

• words of affirmation (encouragement, compliments, expressions of affection),
• acts of service (doing things for your partner, like chores or caretaking),
• receiving gifts (these don’t need to be of great monetary value),
• quality time (date night, a trip together, doing a task together),
• physical touch (holding hands, hugging, kissing, or being close).

Knowing what your partner’s love language will be helpful when you wonder, ‘does she love me?’ Next to that we also try give you an overview in the following table what real live is and what not:

What real love is	What real love isn’t
An emotional as well as sexual connection	Just sexual attraction
Trust in your partner	Jealousy
Putting your partner first	Always looking out for number one
The ability to let go	Possessiveness
Acceptance of your partner for who they are	Wanting them to change for you

8 signs you know she loves you

You’ve been dating a while now and you’re wondering how to know if she loves you. While you could ask her, you don’t want to do that because you don’t want to put pressure on her or give her the impression the relationship is moving too fast if you haven’t actually been seeing other very long. Luckily, there are things a girl will do if she loves you – if she’s doing several of the ones on this list? Well, you have your answer to ‘Does she love me?’

1. She mirrors you

If you’re not sure what mirroring is, it’s when a person, consciously or unconsciously, mimics someone else’s body language, verbal tics, or attitudes. When it’s done subconsciously, it’s often a sign of attraction and a good way to settle the question of, ‘does she really love me or is she using me?’. Observe her closely; has she started picking up some of your catchphrases, does she match your tone and cadence when you speak, has she started doing some of the same hand gestures (or similar ones)? All of these are signs that her affections run deep. 

2. She remembers the small things

The way you take your coffee. That you like the green M&Ms best. The name of the dog you had as a kid. She remembers all of these, and many other small details about you, even the ones you’ve just casually brought up in conversation once and then never mentioned again. When a girl is madly in love with you, even the smallest things about you become important and worth remembering. So if you find she’s gotten you your favorite candy bar just because, or remembered you don’t like olives on your pizza, you know what the likely answer to, “Does she love me?” is. 

3. She makes time for you

Between the job, the side hustle, and spending time with friends and family, it’s a wonder she has time to date. Which is why, if you’re wondering how to know if a girl loves you, you should pay attention to how much time she spends with you. If she really cares about you, she’ll carve time out of her busy schedule, or juggle things so you guys get quality time together. If something comes up and she can’t make date night or has to cancel something you were both looking forward to? She’ll be sure to apologize heartily and make it up to you. 

4. She introduces you to her family and friends

For most women, family and friends make up a huge portion of their lives and any guy who plans on being a part of it had better pass the test with them. If you’re wondering, ‘does she love me?’ don’t look at her, look around her. Do her friends know about you? Has she introduced you, or is she planning on doing so? If she gets along with her family, has she told them about you? Are you included in the plans she makes with them? Do you get to be part of important milestones not just in her life but in the lives of those she loves, too? If all of that sounds familiar, then relax – you definitely don’t need to be in any doubt about how she feels. 

5. She shares things with you

We’re not talking just about links to cute videos or funny memes, either, although that’s definitely a fun part of being in a relationship. One of the most important psychological signs a woman is in love is her willingness to show vulnerability. She’ll confide in you instead of putting on a brave face, share her dreams, her desires, and her worries. She’ll open up to you and share private details because she trusts you. (Just be sure to ask if she wants someone to listen to or provide actual solutions before you try to swoop in and fix the problem.) 

6. She takes the initiative

However, a woman in love is not going to sit back and letting her partner do everything. You won’t even have to ask yourself ‘does she love me?’ because it’ll be in her actions – texting you randomly, taking any excuse to extend a conversation, planning dates and surprises she knows you’ll love. If you text or message, you can be sure of getting a quick reply, too. She also won’t let problems fester, instead working with you to solve them in a way that leaves both of you happy. 

7. She accepts your flaws and supports you when you want to improve

How do you know if a girl is serious about you? Nobody’s perfect, and your partner understands. While she’ll be in your corner if you decide you want to change things for yourself, she doesn’t expect you to change for her. She won’t judge you for your weaknesses or flaws – instead, she’ll accept them as part of who you are. That doesn’t mean, however, she won’t call you out when it’s deserved, because a woman who loves you will want the best of you. On the bright side, she’ll also support and encourage you if you do decide that you want to change for the better. 

8. You’re a part of her future plans

If you’re wondering, ‘How do you know if a girl loves you?’ look to the future. Specifically, look at how she talks about the future. Does she assume you’re going to be a part of your life even years from now? Does she take it for granted that you’ll be her date to events months or years in the future, plan trips for the two of you to take, or assume you’ll share goals and milestones, like buying a house or sharing kids? Especially if she’s assuming you’ll be there not just for the big occasions but the small ones too or taking for granted that her future will involve you in some way, you can be sure she loves you.

When it comes to love, actions are great but words are better

Honestly, the best way to figure out a question like ‘How do I tell if he loves me’ is to simply ask rather than keep wondering ‘Does he love me?’ If he does… fantastic! If he doesn’t… well, that’s what eharmony is for. At eharmony, you’ll find plenty of eligible singles looking for the same thing you are – real love with someone compatible. Sign up for eharmony and take your first step on the road to a serious relationship today.