Joni and Colin
Joni: I decided to try eHarmony in 2006. For me, it was a research project: what kind of man would be a perfect match? Still feeling gun-shy after a divorce, I really wanted to understand the components of a compatible relationship. And since I had two kids to consider, I definitely wanted my next relationship to be a success. None of my early matches panned out and I decided not to renew my membership after three months.
Colin: I had tried EVERYTHING before signing up on eHarmony. I was set up on a lot of blind dates. I checked out free online dating sites and even went to speed dating. Three times! I had been on eHarmony for about three months and had gotten matched with some great girls. None of them panned out because the chemistry wasn’t right.
Joni: A year later, I decided to give it another try. After another three months, I was eventually matched with Colin. My first impression of him was that he was a solid person, with a strong focus on faith, which was most important to me. He also seemed to be smart and have a great sense of humor. He contacted me right away and within two days we were in open communication. Before I knew it, the emails were flying back and forth, some long and poignant, some short and funny. We came to know each other quickly with nothing but words on a page. About a week later, we talked by phone. I instantly loved his voice and was relieved that he could make me laugh so easily. We talked about meeting in person later in the week for coffee.
Colin: I believe it was a Sunday morning when I saw that I had been matched with Joni. I was immediately captivated by her smile and her profile described a woman of great depth and character and I wanted to know more right away so I answered her opening questions honestly and hoping to make her laugh a little. I was pleased that she responded very quickly and what followed was an absolute tornado of deepening.
Joni: The first time we met, I was so nervous. I got there early and ordered me tea and him hot chocolate and waited. I saw someone who looked like Colin come in and walk to the back of the coffee shop. “Was that him?” I wondered? I got up to see if I could find him, but he was gone. I looked out the window to see if I could spot him there. Nothing. As I turned away from the window, I heard a voice ask, “Are you looking for me?” I turned around and he was right behind me. I laughed, said an excited, “Hi” and went to shake his hand. He said, “No I’m going to hug you.” He did. That was a great ice breaker. We talked nervously and laughed a little and went for a walk outside. Even though we were both freezing, we kept walking and talking for a few hours. The one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to see him again. There was such ease in our conversation. Colin has great eye contact, which said a lot to me, like he really cared about what I had to say. He also had a quite, gentle strength that really appealed to me.
Colin: By the time we first met we knew each other well from a lot of emails and a couple of phone calls. I was so nervous I went right past the person I was pretty sure had to be Joni. I went to the restroom and tried to gather myself. I don’t know how long I was in there but when I came out she was standing with her back to me and as I approached I felt peace and said, “Are you looking for me?” We talked and laughed and we were both nervous but we didn’t care. We took a walk and talked some more and I loved every minute of it so much I was late for a meeting.
Joni: On day 23, we met for a drink after work. I started asking Colin why he didn’t choose a younger woman without kids who had never been married. Since he’d been a bachelor his whole life, I wanted to make sure he really understood what it meant to have a family. We talked about everything: kids (I had them, he didn’t), organization skills (he had them, I didn’t). Not a big surprise: we agreed on most everything. About two hours into it, and knowing he wanted into my life in a big way, I turned to him, shook his hand, and said, “Deal!” He smiled and put his arms around me. That was that.
Colin: I felt the excitement of flying and the fear of falling at the same time. When we had that conversation I knew we were basically saying, “either this is it or this is the end.” It was intense and amazing. I felt such peace afterward I knew we would live happily ever after. I’ve never once had a second thought about that night. It was just exactly the right thing for us.
Joni: I told my friends and family right away. They all wanted to meet Colin to see if he was “worthy” of me. Because it all happened so fast there were natural worries, especially since nobody wanted to see me get hurt again. It didn’t take long for them to see what I saw. In December, he gave me an engagement ring. We set the date for April.
Colin: I was shocked to learn that Joni’s friends all felt I needed to be approved before they would let her marry me when all of my friends just celebrated and cried. In the end, I understand why they were cautious. I think our love speaks for itself. People can tell how perfect we are for each other right away. We’re like an old married couple.
Joni: The thing that surprises me most about this whole thing, six months later, is how perfectly we fit together. We see almost everything eye to eye. And if we don’t, we respect the other enough to appreciate the other point of view. We really don’t fight. When we do disagree we communicate so well that the tension is resolved relatively quickly and always gently. I can hardly remember what my life was like before Colin. He has added so much joy, peace, and love to my life that I am sometimes overwhelmed. My kids have a step-dad who is a man of great character and integrity and I know he will continue to be a tremendously positively influence on our lives.
We’ve often said that if we had met any other way than through eHarmony we probably wouldn’t have connected. There was just something about the way we were able to get to know each other in 2D that helped us fall in love. Our single friends are joining eHarmony to find what we have. We hope they do!