Did everything go wrong on Date #1? Did he spill his coffee on you? Did she forget your name — twice? Maybe your date just wasn’t your “type.”
Saying yes to a second date doesn’t obligate you to marry the person. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to give someone a second chance — even after a bad first date.
Ask yourself, “Why was it bad?” Certain answers to this question might necessitate a second date more than others. If you and your date have incompatible values, you spotted a few dating red flags, or you have no desire to ever be in the same room as him/her again, you probably don’t need a second date to help you determine whether or not you have a future together: you already know. But if the date was “bad” for any of the following reasons, consider saying yes to round two.
When to give a bad date a second chance:
1. Nerves got in the way the first time.
If you can chalk up your date’s awkward behaviour to nerves — maybe he was especially apologetic or she stumbled on her answers and forgot the punchlines to her jokes — a second date might be what both of you need in order to feel more comfortable and actually get to know each other better.
2. The “bad” date wasn’t anyone’s fault.
If your picnic date got rained out, you had an allergic reaction to dinner or he missed the first half of the movie due to bad traffic, be open to a do-over if your date wants one. Circumstances out of your control are no reason to write off something that might have a chance in better weather or traffic.
3. Chemistry or physical attraction is lacking — but that’s it.
A trusted dating site said you two were a 98% match! You have similar values and priorities, your lifestyles are compatible and…you’d totally set her up with your best friend. If the only reason you’re hesitant to say yes to another date is that you’re “not feeling it,” or he’s not your physical “type,” see what a second date can do. Maybe it will reinforce that you’ll never be more than friends. Or maybe a growing attraction will surprise you. Not everyone experiences infatuation at first sight — and that’s totally okay. Don’t run away too soon just because he’s shorter than you or she looks too much like that cousin you can’t stand.
4.Your closest friends think you should give it another shot.
After processing your first date with a trusted friend, listen to her honest feedback. A friend might be able to see a good match before you do. If she thinks your date sounds like someone who might be good for you, it probably won’t hurt to have another coffee with him.
5. You don’t know if you want to date her again or not.
You don’t have to be sure if this is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. But if you can’t confidently say this isn’t the person for you, be up for another meeting. Sometimes a second or third date really clarifies the future potential of a match.