Ten Things to Never Post on Facebook to Your Crush

You’re smitten. He accepted your friend request. Before you start Facebook-stalking him daily, here are some guidelines for navigating a crush online.

Ten things to never post on Facebook to your crush:

1. Any terms of endearment. If he’s not your boyfriend, don’t post terms of endearment — no matter how cute or hilarious — on his wall. Signing off with “xoxo” is also a huge no-no.

2. “Liking” everything on his wall. A “like” isn’t a conversation, it’s merely an agreement that you share a similar viewpoint. The odd “like” is fine, but use them sparingly. If you like everything online, you’ll become that annoying person who chooses to agree with absolutely everything the object of his/her affection says.

3. “I thought of you….” If you’re not dating, don’t admit to thinking of him throughout the day — especially not in a public forum where his mom can read your comments.

4. Asking him/her out. If she posts “Craving pizza tonight,” don’t respond with “Wanna come over? I was just going to order a large pepperoni” on her wall. Send a private message instead. Don’t put her on the spot or give her friends teasing ammunition.

5. Conversations about mutual friends. It’s exciting to discover that a crush has more mutual friends with you than you originally thought, but don’t extend that excitement into a gossip session on either of your Facebook walls. Even private messaging about friends isn’t wise, as it might appear as though you’re doing research.

6. Lying about mutual interests. If half of his photos are of him windsurfing and you have a fear of the water, don’t pretend to want to learn just to impress him.

7. Evidence that you’re cyber-stalking him/her. If you spend the afternoon reading everything ever posted on her Facebook page — following links to her personal blog, even — don’t initiate conversations based solely on your findings. If the crush is mutual, you’ll have the chance to get to know each other in person and hear the stories first-hand, not just splice them together from fractured comments and posts.

8. Comments on his/her photos. As with “likes,” keep photos comments to a minimum. And never, ever, call your crush “hawt.”

9. Speaking of “hawt,” spell like a grownup. Text-speak often reads as juvenile and immature. Choose grammar. 

10. Playing hard to get. Teasing, sarcasm and coyness are lost in translation online. Unless there’s an “I’m just kidding, I actually really like you” font, make sure the words you type have a clear meaning. You don’t want to be written off because of a misinterpreted sentence.

Has a “crush” ever posted something on your Facebook page which completely turned you off?