Two couples on a date laughing together & one woman gazes at her man

The Keys to ‘Standing Out From the Crowd’ with a Great Woman

by Eharmony Editorial Team - December 7, 2011

When it comes to meeting, dating, and building relationships with great women, most guys say and do exactly the same things as every other guy...and end up getting lost in the crowd.

When it comes to meeting, dating, and building relationships with great women, most guys say and do exactly the same things as every other guy…and end up getting lost in the crowd.

Why do so many guys have problems finding and building a relationship with a great woman? Well, it’s kind of a trick question…most men have very little problem FINDING a high-quality woman that they’d love to get to know better. Problem is — a lot of OTHER guys are competing with you for her attention as well. 

So the million-dollar question is this: How can you stand out from “the crowd” and become the one who gets to take things to the next level with her? The first clue is this: Stop using the same, stale gimmicks, lines and come-ons that all those other guys use to “get noticed”…but that a true, high-quality woman sees coming from a mile away.

That in mind, here are the keys to making it happen:


If you’re like most guys, the moment you approach a woman, you begin sending her “signals” that make her think you’re just like like every other guy. In most cases, those signals fall into one of 2 rejection-triggering categories:

1) The “She’s-Out-Of My-League” Signal. Also known as the “lack of self-esteem” signal, this one’s a tidal wave of clues that include nervous body language and awkward speech. The most self-destructive of which is saying ATTRACTION-KILLING things like “So, how am I doing so far?” or “Do you think we’re a good match?” Worst of all…“Do you like me?”

2) The “Obnoxious Jerk” Signal. Enough said, right? Whether a guy is overcompensating for his lack of confidence, or he’s just plain arrogant, this attitude instantly makes a man come across as just another insecure “loudmouth”…and to high-quality women, that means “game over.”

So then, once you become aware of these signals you need to STOP sending them immediately.  Here’s what to focus on instead:


Simply put…the “Mr. Right” attitude combines powerful signals of self-confidence (behaving like you’re “worthy” of being with a great woman) with signals of self-control (not being “over-the-top” in what you say and do). And like I often say, the fastest way to send these signals is to combine the right amount of “cockiness” with the right amount of humor. So go ahead…don’t hold back from teasing a woman you just met…but never graduate to being insulting. Talk about light topics, but be sure to have a unique and funny point of view on them. “Brag” about things you’re good at in life, but mix in humorous stories about how you’ve also failed along the way.

It all adds up to get her thinking, “Wow, this guy is sure DIFFERENT”…which equals a HUGE step out of “the crowd.”


Listen, you can be the most confident, in-control guy on the planet, but if you’re not successful at communicating this to a woman, you might as well be invisible. And the tragic fact is, most guys have no idea how to CONNECT with a woman they’ve just met… also known as BUILDING RAPPORT with her.

The best way to do it is to find common ground with a woman…subjects that you share a connection to in life. Again — you don’t want to accomplish this by being intrusive, rude, or insecure, so talk about something that you’re GENUINELY passionate about. A charity…an athletic or academic pursuit…your family…and CONNECT with her passions on the subject.
Build that bridge, and all other guys disappear in her mind as YOU become the one she wants to invest more time in.

Bottom line: Any guy can resort to lines and gimmicks to get the attention of a woman. But to escape the crowd, YOU need to do things differently. So stop sending all the wrong signals…learn how to start broadcasting the “Mr. Right” attitude…find out how to build rapport…and you’ll not only stand out from the crowd…you’ll leave it behind for good.

Through years of study, “Double Your Dating” author David DeAngelo discovered why a few men do everything right to succeed with women and relationships…while most make the same lethal mistakes over and over again. David shares his most powerful discoveries for becoming instantly successful with women and dating in his FREE newsletter…subscribe to it here.