This is the first in a series of upcoming guest posts by Jeannie Assimos, Vice President of Content for eHarmony.
I know I can be idealistic, but wouldn’t it be amazing if there were a set of absolute dating rules everybody followed — sort of like the ones we (usually) adhere to while driving or in other areas of life? The dating world would be such a more welcoming space if everyone just followed some basic “kindness” guidelines.
One of my favorite books, The Four Agreements, could easily translate into the four rules of dating.
They say change begins with one person, so here is my proposal for daters:
1. Don’t Make Assumptions.
We are all guilty of this — and not only while we are dating. Most of the time I have found that what I am assuming about another person’s behavior or actions is actually wrong! It’s a constant lesson I learn over and over again. So, the message here is — try not to sit around wasting time analyzing what she/he meant when they said that or why he/she hasn’t called. It’s all speculative and your energies are best used elsewhere.
2. Always Do Your Best.
I love this one and need to tattoo it somewhere (just kidding, mom!). Be the best person you can be in each moment and you will hopefully have little regret. Life’s so much better when you are being an honorable person and acting accordingly.
3. Don’t Take Anything Personally.
This is a big one. If we could lessen the rejection aspect of dating and not take it to heart, that would be a real blessing. Often times when something doesn’t work out, it is absolutely no reflection on you. Allowing things to roll off your back and chalking them up to learning experiences is a great gift. And please don’t beat yourself up. Instead, be even kinder and more loving with yourself.
4. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
This alone could change the dating landscape tremendously. Can you imagine if people truly said what they meant, were very mindful about what they said, and spoke thoughtfully and honestly? Wow.
Are there any dating rules you’d like to see added?