Couple sitting on the couch looking longingly into each other's eyes

What Women Want: 5 Must-Haves in a Man

by Eharmony Editorial Team - April 20, 2010

Sometimes, trying to figure out what a woman is looking for in a man is as mind-boggling as trying to figure out how gravity works!

Sometimes, trying to figure out what a woman is looking for in a man is as mind-boggling as trying to figure out how gravity works: it’s right there in front of you every day, only you can’t totally grasp it. However, it doesn’t take a scientist’s brain to understand the basics, and here we present the top five must-haves on a woman’s checklist.

It’s not that women necessarily need to see that you’re running Goldman Sachs or are next in line for a stab at the Presidency, but they do want to see that you’ve got your life together enough to actually support yourself and, if need be, your family too. In this recession-damaged age the goal posts may have moved some, and you’re more likely to elicit some sympathy regarding employment issues, but a woman is likely to want to see that you’re at least looking for gainful employment and have some kind of a long-term plan.

If you want a woman to enjoy you intimately as well as emotionally, they’re likely to prefer it if you don’t look – and worse, smell – like you’ve just taken a 20 mile hike through a desert wearing a polyester jump suit. Yes, a certain natural manly aroma can work wonders with the ladies, but clean it up, clip it back, trim it down and scrub it fresh. In other words, clean hair, trimmed nails, scrubbed body and laundered clothes. Add that to a manly musk, and it’s a winning combo.

Women are unlikely to be overly-impressed by your high score on your local pub’s Boggle machine and your ability to play the guitar solo from Free Bird on your plastic Guitar Hero axe. Yes, you may be very proud that you’ve been able to the buy the M203 grenade launcher in Call of Duty 4, but out in the real world she’s more likely to be impressed with your ability to buy a decent meal for two in a nice restaurant. She’s not too interested in dating a boy, but instead a man capable of bringing his A-game to the table, not to the video screen.

Women are impressed by men who can actually do things, and just as importantly – WANT to do things. Whether it’s the small stuff like taking care of simple home repairs, changing a tire or taking out the trash, they also like to see that you have a passion for life, enjoy your work and hobbies, and that you know how to lead and take responsibility. In other words, man up!

The true dichotomy of a woman’s must-haves is the fact that, yes, she wants a real man, she wants maturity, she wants solvency – but at the same time, she’s looking for equality, for a partner, someone to give as much as he can take, to listen as much as he leads. Yes, she wants it all, and most men are just hanging on in there for the ride. But if you can make it, or at least get close, it could be the ride of your life.