A guy flirting with a woman and brushing her hair behind her ear

What Every Man Magnet Knows

by Eharmony Editorial Team - March 20, 2011

Rest assured, this isn’t another article telling you that if you just change one more thing about yourself, (since the first hundred weren’t enough, apparently,) men will be beating down your doo

Rest assured, this isn’t another article telling you that if you just change one more thing about yourself, (since the first hundred weren’t enough, apparently,) men will be beating down your door.

Instead, let’s talk about how to highlight your best self and show it to the world. And by “world”, we mean men.  If they can’t see how funny you are because your shyness overshadows that, or your warmth is hidden under a pound of makeup, maybe we can help take away those roadblocks.

Which, essentially, is what the man magnets of the world do. They remove all barriers and make it surpremely easy for men to see the very best version of themselves. In About Alice, American journalist Calvin Trillin’s memoir about his beloved wife, Alice, Trillin describes how he felt two seconds after he laid eyes on her: “My first impression was that she looked more alive than anyone I’d ever seen. She seemed to glow.” Did he fall in love with Alice because she puckered her lips just so? No, he noticed her spirit, her joie de vivre.

So, how can you get that same “glow”?  We’ve compiled a few things we’ve seen various man magnets around town do. You may even be inspired to add one or two into your repertoire – and find yourself pleasantly surprised when you do.

Man magnets are approachable

Though this may seem blatantly obvious, men have to be able to get near you – literally, before they can get close to you – figuratively. Man magnets know this, and frequent heavily-trafficked areas like the bar or the entrance of the party. They often have a drink or other object in their hand to keep their shoulders and arms relaxed. Even if they’re talking to a friend, they keep their bodies somewhat oriented toward the center of the room for maximum accessibility.

How this makes men feel: like they can easily “bump into” you, intrigued and drawn in

Man magnets have fun

Can you picture a man magnet standing in the corner with her arms crossed, spewing some negativity with a sour look on her face to a horde of men? Neither can we, probably because that has never happened in the history of male/ female interactions. Now, compare that woman to one who’s smiling and laughing her head off. Who would you rather talk to? As the saying goes, “Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.”

How this makes men feel: comfortable (because you are) and at-ease

They catch men’s eyes

You’d be surprised at how often women forget this basic step. But it’s crucial – would you approach someone who never once looked in your direction? You have to give men the green light to talk to you, the “Yes, I like you, come on over, Rover” invitation. Which you can do by looking at them for about three seconds, smiling, and then looking away. If looking in a man’s eyes seems too scary, focus on the point between his eyes instead and count to three.

How this makes men feel: confident, self-assured and safe from rejection

Man magnets give compliments

Women get complimented all the time – by other women, by men, even by strangers in passing. Men, on the other hand, receive compliments far less frequently, even though they may crave them just as much. Man magnets understand the power of a compliment, and aren’t afraid to tell a man how much they like his shirt, how the color of his eyes really stands out, or that his haircut makes him look “handsome”.

How this makes men feel: attractive, desired and manly

They look put-together

For better or worse, what attracts men initially to a woman is her appearance and how she carries herself. To be a man magnet is to be comfortable in your own skin, so dress however you feel most confident. While men are less likely to notice details, they do remember if you look natural, (i.e. don’t have on a ton of makeup,) your hair looks soft and “touchable”, your style is simple yet put-together and you smell amazing.

How this makes men feel: attracted, interested and motivated to approach you

Man magnets know how to talk to people

These women are easy to talk to. They’re friendly, and always have a few ways to break the ice, such as, “What brings you here tonight?” “Are you from this area?” or just “Hi, I’m so-and-so. What’s your name?”  Memorizing one or two light topics to bring up if necessary will help avoid any awkward silences, too. People feel more relaxed when discussing subjects outside themselves, so hilarious movies or current events are two great places to start.

How this makes men feel: interesting, calm and able to focus (on how to ask you out)

Perhaps most importantly, man magnets know they’re man magnets

If a woman has men lining up to talk to her, chances are she has a very healthy opinion of herself. She likes who she is, and remembers her strengths while forgetting any “flaws” her inner critic so kindly feels the need to point out.

How this makes men feel: magnetized and excited about you (because you’re excited about you)

Chances are, you joined eHarmony to meet someone you really like, a man you can have a happy, fulfilling relationship with. You’re not trying to have men fall at your feet – even though that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. You’d just like a partner. The good news is, you don’t have to change who you are or become a different person for that to happen. By being aware of the vibe you’re putting out into the world, you can make sure men see you how you want them to. And, when you do draw them in, you can focus on the best part: how they make you feel.