Relationship Compatibility: A Guide to Finding ‘The One’ (Part I­)

Finding the One

Most people will agree that the key to finding a healthy, long-lasting relationship is compatibility. Ok, but what does that even mean? You both like cats? Check. You both love to travel? Double check. You both experience soul-penetrating sweeps of desire and heart-wrenching bouts of infatuation when you’re together? Checkcheckcheckcheck.

Understanding the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility
But wait, there’s more. So much more — there are dimensions to this compatibility thing. In fact, there are a total of 29 Dimensions to compatibility. These key areas are recognized as your core traits and vital attributes — basically, the things that make you tick and paint a powerful portrait of who you are at the deepest level.

Core Traits & Vital Attributes
Your core traits are defining aspects of who you are that remain largely unchanged throughout your adult life. Vital attributes are based on learning experience, and are more likely to change based on life events and decisions you make as an adult.

Now, let’s get to the nuts and bolts of it all by understanding why this stuff matters when you’re dating and searching for that special someone. It’s a lot of information so we’ll start small in this continued series, with one of the major core traits, emotional temperament.

Dimension 1: Emotional Temperament
What in the world is that? Great question. This is your emotional makeup. It refers to the ease or difficulty with which you consistently respond emotionally to various situations.  Do you internalise stress? Or do you wear your heart on your sleeve?

How you regulate your emotions is sort of important. From emotional energy, to emotional composition, it’s important to find your “emotional rock,” as the old saying goes. It’s a fundamental part of who you are and how people experience you. Reliability and consistency are important factors when it comes your partner’s emotional status, as is having a sense of self-awareness.  Is your partner there for you when you just need someone to listen? Are you there for them? At the end of the day, it comes down to how well you two grow, adapt, and react to each other and your surroundings.