What relationship doesn’t start out fun? Sadly, relationships can become too much work and not enough play if we let them. There is good reason to keep the fun alive in your relationship. According to psychologist Amy Muise at York University, couples who engage in fun, novel activities are more attracted to each other early in their relationship and down the road too.
My husband and I are still having fun after many, many years together. Having fun has kept our relationship strong. Here are some strategies that work for us.
Get out of town
Getting away, even if it’s just for a weekend in a nearby town, is one way we inject fun into our relationship. It’s too easy to get pulled into the endless drudgery of domestic life at home. Who can focus on fun when there are physical reminders of laundry to do, or grass to be cut? Getting out of town is liberating, and a chance to focus on each other rather than our lengthy to-do list.
Learn something new
My husband and I have many separate interests, but we try to learn new things together too. Sometimes these are formal lessons, and other times just reading the same books to discuss later. And, when we try new things independently (like a kickboxing class for me last week, and trail running for him), we tell each other about our experience in detail. Fun can be vicarious too!
Meet at the venue
One of our little tricks to inject a little mystery into our relationship is to arrive separately at restaurants or concerts. It triggers those feelings of anticipation like when we were early in our romance. Meeting at the venue rather than arriving together lets us observe each other from afar. Plus, we haven’t talked about everything already on the drive over.
Play practical jokes
My husband is fairly serious, which makes it particularly hilarious when he acts silly. Every so often, he puts a little plastic mouse (an old toy of one of our kid’s) under my pillow. I always scream and then laugh. And, on trips to the grocery store, he’ll sometimes toss things like Dunk-a-roos into our cart, pretending to be a brat. These little stunts demonstrate he still wants to make me laugh.
Get seasons tickets
Life gets busy so we don’t leave things to chance. We know that unless we plan in advance, we won’t go on dates. Since the start of our relationship, we have bought seasons tickets to concerts. This means we organize our time accordingly to make sure we go. Inking things into our calendar is also inking our commitment to our relationship.
The good news is that having fun as a couple is a conscious choice. And, it’s a good choice to make. All work and no play makes us dull and is a buzz kill for our relationship too. So, think about the five strategies that will work for you in your own relationship!