Laura Bilotta is a Toronto-based dating coach whose expert knowledge of dating etiquette, relationships and human behaviour has helped hundreds of men and women become dating gurus. As Valentines’ Day approaches, I asked Laura a few questions to help eharmony singles make the most out of this day of love.
Valentine’s Day is a celebration of romantic love. What’s your advice for singletons who may be feeling a little jealous of their coupled friends?
You need to ask yourself, “Why am I jealous?” Is it because you are in a transitional stage in your life where you might feel a little lost? If so, it’s important to get back on track to feeling positive and excited about the future, which makes it easier to be happy for your friends too.
Are there some great ways to give yourself some self-love on Valentine’s Day?
Definitely! Here are three things!
- Make Valentine’s Day an “all about me” day. Pamper yourself by indulging in things that make you feel good and bring you joy and excitement.
- Love yourself more by doing something special for someone else. People don’t do this enough. Making a difference to someone else’s life, particularly someone who is far less fortunate, makes us happy.
- Write yourself a note of appreciation about all the positive things you like about yourself. Valentine’s Day can be more than about romantic relationships. They can be about our self, family and friends.
What is the one thing should singles avoid doing—at all costs—on Valentine’s Day?
Definitely resist the urge to call or text your ex. That’s a big no-no. And, don’t look at your ex’s social media because this could be depressing if they are posting about someone new in their life.
When you were single, what was the best Valentine’s Day you ever had? What can others learn from this?
One Valentine’s Day that sticks out was when I grabbed a friend to go play bingo and then rollerskating, something we didn’t normally do. It was spontaneous but one of my most memorable and fun nights. We even forgot it was Valentine’s Day!
The lesson here is not to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Valentine’s Day is a good time to venture out and meet new friends. I always tell people they might befriend someone who knows the perfect person for them. Socializing in new circles can do wonders for your dating life.
As a leading expert in single dating, what are your top three pieces of advice for someone who is hoping to be in a relationship by next Valentine’s Day?
- Be ready to date by being in a good, solid and happy place in your life. There are positive laws of attraction—you attract who you are
- Be open. Give people chances and stop looking for the perfect person because they don’t exist. You have flaws too so it’s better to be more accepting. One problem with online dating is that there are too many opportunities to meet people. It’s easy to be tricked into thinking, “the grass is greener on the other side,” and to keep trying to find the perfect person.
- Don’t wait for love to come to you. Put yourself out there as much as possible. Do more of what fuels your soul and brings you joy. When you are at your best you will attract people in the same emotional state and on the same life path.
Read Laura’s new book: “Single in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks To Love & Lifemates, Tales & Tips To Attract Your Perfect Match” for more advice.